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Yesterday morning this one biffed it out of bed, like she was shoved and her feet pulled out from beneath her. When she went to take a step, her stimulator went into over drive and she fell forward hard. Both elbows and both knees are still swollen, last night was painful. A pain none of her meds helped. Had easter to get ready, eggs to dye, baskets to prepare, plastic eggs to fill with candy, quarters and bills. We always do that, so the kids get a little money.
Well this ones day was pretty much ruined, couldn't walk, couldn't get rid of the pain, adjusted her stimulator to try to get rid of it, but since it was a different kind of pain it didn't work.
Fell off to a nap fairly early, when she woke she was pleased that her oldest daughter took over for her, got the eggs dyed with her brother and son, her Dad helped put the plastic eggs together. Everything was done. A great relief wasn't taken off her.
Woke this morning still hurting, but got up anyway, after all it's Easter. Had coffee, our son was already awake as was Master. Had a cup of coffee and then she went to wake our grandson and tell him to hurry the Easter Bunny came.
Always loved the light in their eyes, the surprise, the innocence.
About an hour later we hid the plastic eggs for an easter egg hunt. It was great!
What a happy easter
Until next time
I went to the doctor yesterday for my post op appointment. I was also re programmed by Medtronic, my new lead is working down farther in my foot as it was meant to do, but still not as far down as my toes which was the target. I seen Medtronic first and then my Pain Manager. I'm healing well and few more weeks and I should be completely healed from the surgery. It can take up to 6 months for my lead to take to the spine, it has to grab onto it and stick into place. This is why it's so important not to do anything too physical, or move abruptly.
My pain Manager is putting in a referral for me to begin the Compass Functional Restorational program. http://www.sacpainclinic.com/compass.php
My doctor heads and leads this program and it's located next door to my pain clinic http://www.sacpainclinic.com/ (The man in the photo is my pain manager himself)
The program is 7 hours a day, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. It scared me. Seriously.
So scared I came home, rested, and then ate 5 peanut butter cookies. Diet goes bye bye.
My vocational rehabilitation eventually became home schooling. I was going to the actual school quite a bit away from home. I couldn't handle 4 days a week for 4 hours. Then I went down to 2 days a week for 6 hours or as long as I could tolerate. A few times I was able to put in an 8 hour day, when pain was lower and I became consumed in my studies. I only graduated from the pre requisite course. I have a Microsoft Office Certificate, but never graduated from the full curriculum which was Corporate Publishing.
In order go through the Compass program I have to pass a phycological evaluation, just like when I was first considered as a candidate for my Spinal Cord Stimulator. You have to be referred, considered and pass.
Of course I want to do this program, I told my Pain Manager I did. It's not being forced upon me. But God I'm scared to fail. I would be happy to not be on the internet all day, I am more than eager to learn new techniques to control pain, I'm looking forward to understanding flare-ups more than I do now and how to get through them.
I can't wait to pass what I learn onto my website and my pain groups, or anyone in chronic pain. This isn't only for people with RSD/CRPS. It's for people who live with Chronic Pain in general.
I don't want to let my Doctor down and they know I have volunteered to do clinical trials and more. To learn from me. I want my body to be studied and used while I'm alive rather than when I'm dead.
I want to go back to work I really do, but it will be a miracle in itself if I manage to get through so many hours, a full week, for 6 weeks. We have to set 3 goals for ourselves. I've been thinking about that since last night. Most people's goal is to return to work or volunteer. If I was able to volunteer outside the home, I would choose work. If I could handle being out and about, I would rather bring in some income for my family.
Unless it was to volunteer at the program, similar program or help others with RSD. Then that would be my pay, I would feel richer than any doing that.
Maybe my calling lies in this somewhere...
I know in my heart this illness was placed upon me for a reason...
A reason I just don't understand completely yet...
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"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar". Hellen Keller
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And no more peanut butter cookies
sheesh
Until next time...
Because times have become so rough, millions of layoff's, the economy being in down road spiral an area of Sacramento has been filled with hundreds of homeless people. The area has come to be known as Tent City. There are tents everywhere in a somewhat secluded area, but not unseen from cars passing and some onlookers. Families, children, bbq's, some without tents, taken in by other homeless. Only a few cars owned, many bicycles, tables.
Tent City is being cleared. A grant has been approved to help these people in shelters, store their belongings while their in the shelter. But... one only gets a night and a hot meal. Worse cases a couple of days and a meal.
Many don't want hand outs, they are surviving the best that they can. These aren't the typical bums or homeless sleeping under bridges, or lazy people who really don't care to work and instead live off others handouts.
These people lost everything. Their jobs, their homes were foreclosed on. Where else do they go? It could have been us. My husband has been unemployed since late November after working for the same company 13 years. A major mass layoff from a company that survived world war 2. They didn't go out of business, they relocated to another state thinking it would save them costs, labor dollars, etc. The man could have taken a transfer, but where would we have gone when we got there? Instead he took his severance package, he cashed out his 401 and a small pension. It is what we are living off of. Luckily I recieved a good chunk of back pay in late October to go with this. We lost our retirement future, but we will not lose our home that we purchased April 15 of last year. Nor will be become homeless, we won't lose our minor son as a result. Our glass is still half full. We figure considering it all. We're still on middle ground.
Leave the people in Tent City Alone
They aren't hurting anyone, they are helping one another, when someone gets work, they share with one another. They have no address so they will not qualify for any type of aid. This also makes getting a job tough.
Usually people compain that lazy people are sucking up all our resources, increase our taxes because of welfare, AFDC and programs like this. Normally I would agree.
I cannot agree now.
So a few people don't like the scenery when they travel and look over to it. Imagine how many neighborhoods across the country that are torn down, beat up, ghetto poor that's always existed. The dirty projects we have to pass on the way to work, or to the store, doctor appointments, school.
People always have something to bitch about, but they aren't the ones in the hole.
I'm certain if they were and there was no where for them to go...they'd go camping too.
There are other smaller tent cities it's just that this one made news headlines several times. The ones now will just pack up and move on to another before letting the city governments make their choices and I hope they do. A day or a couple in shelter gives them what? It gives them a notice that they can no longer stay. With the amount of money they received in grants. $250,000 to start and another $150,000 in the last week or about, they could restore a dump and give them more permanent housing. I would propose a 3 month stay that includes an address, or vacant buildings that are similar to shelters, so they can pick themselves back up. I'm sure $350,000 could rent a couple auditorium type buildings for 6 months to a year and provide 2 groups to stay their 3 months. That could help atleast 300 people at a time. If they're living in tents, I doubt they would complain to live somewhere like this that was more permanent and would actually help them. I would sleep on a cot next to my Master with our son next to us in the corner of a shelter type building if it meant a semi permanent address so he could get work if we were in the same position as those people. Thank God, were not. But can you see how my heart goes out to them? The hard times put them there.
If that's all there was...
We would and we could call it home. My Master would retain his independence, honor and integrity. If there was no plan like this... We'd stay in our tent and go where we would be harder to find.
That's all these families are trying to do.
Leave them be!
Until next time...
Sunday morning this one wasn't feeling very well. Emotions got the better of her. As the day went on and especially after she got her shower, she began to feel better about the things that put her in the emotional state.
When evening time came, her Master paused the wrestling match to go get her a bigger tv for the room she's staying in. Gotta love Craigslist. Why pay when a person can get decent for free. Nothing wrong with it but a nob and once he set it up to cable and programmed the remote control. A nearly flawless 27in.
On his way home he called to tell our daughter to get herself and our grandson ready to go to the carnival as it would only be open another 2 hours. They had been asking to go for a couple of days. It comes every 3 months and stays Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's a fairly large one too. Atleast 20 rides for both adults and smaller kids. And a mini-fairway or midway of games. Our son went with him to get the tv, so he was ready and excited to go already.
When they got home, this one mentioned to them she was thinking about trying to go with them. They were all so happy.
This one put on a little makeup, her hair was already fresh from her shower, she changed out of her nightie and into some loose tan summer pants and a matching tan sleeveless.
It was still really nice out. She wore her black thin fuzzy flip flops. Haven't been able to wear shoes for 8 years. During heavy rain and when absolutely necessary she has a pair of shoes with built in orthodics, they make her swell while wearing them and up to a day or so after from the pressure where the foot was originally damaged. The torn tendens never healed correctly and it's also the site of the original nerve damage. So her flip flops do her best nearly all year long. They're not fuzzy enough for people to notice, but enough for her feet to notice and that's a good thing.
She went with her family. Of course couldn't go on any rides or anything but just being with them made her happy. She had to use her wheelchair which has become more frequent the last 6 months or so, but once she accepted it as a tool that enables her to go out and be with her Master and the family it has truly made a difference. Cannot walk well or for long.
She dislikes her cane and her cane dislikes her. We just don't get along. Am not coordinated enough for it to be this ones friend. It's not even a love hate relationship. The only thing it helps one with is trying to get up a hill. For her birthday in October, he bought her a walking stick.Stick is an understatement though. It's huge, very long or tall, Some call them a Moses staff. That helps her more than a cane ever did. She doesn't use it often, but when she does or needs to it's definately another tool of independence for her.
Had a few pictures taken tonight. Finally some current ones. Still waiting to see the others off the other cam. Will post a couple of the new ones to the side of my blog.
While she didn't go on any rides she did play a couple of games. The tossing of the little balls into the floatie cups didn't go well. she did get a little animal mask and gave it to our grandson. Then the throwing of the darts at the balloons.. always loved that one. The tossing of the little balls was safe for her to do, since she tossed them underhand and the balls are extremely light. She had to play that dart game. She was careful, didn't raise her hand above her head and pop, miss, pop. Master was playing too, pop, pop, pop. We won a medium sized mirror, decided to play again. This time we upgraded and got a large one and a small one. He chose Unicorns. It's really nice. She chose an I Love You.
It was fun. Everyone really had a blast. Oh the grandson did scream a fit when it was time to go though. After his Grandpa spoke to him, he settled down fairly quickly.
Loved the last minute outting to the carnival.
Until next time...
This one's Master woke her about 11:00am to tell her to take her meds and she did. He didn't tell her to get up, just to get those meds down. She woke up about an hour later, sat up, and stared at her laptop which is on a stand right next to the bed. She took the less important of her meds. The Morphine and Cymbalta is what he told her to take. Those have to be taken properly and on a schedule. Her son brought her some iced coffee all the makings of a wonderful start to her day.
Within a half hour she started crying. Her stimulator wasn't working right, she figured she slept wrong, bending her back, easy to happen especially in ones sleep. There was pressure on her back, not really uncommon, it's healing back there, or should be. She started to get overly emotional that she just went through all this for nothing. Not true, it was for something. She called her Master in to take off her collar because she thought it might be interfering, it's only been back on 2 days. Kind of like when a baby gets an allergic reaction, remove anything new from the baby, like detergents or food. As she lowered her head for him to remove it, she started bawling even worse, she held back as best she could. He understood her feelings though. Her collar takes a screw and allen wrench, it's the one she got for Christmas, an Eternity collar. While it may seem weird to some, that collar is her freedom. All her collars are her freedom. She does not like when it's not there. He's going to look for one of her others, or buy her another in the meantime if need be.
Then she took her temperature and it said 32.9. No! That's impossible. Her emotions started turning to annoyance. The battery must be going out in it. She's been running between 81 and 89.
Then she tried to go potty (yeah that kind) It hurt! because of the pressure on her spine, no doubt.
One supposes because all this smacked her in the face at one time is the reason she feels detached from herself still.
She'll be getting her shower soon. The man is putting our son a computer together now and she hasn't called him to tell him she's ready. After waiting all these days for one, at the moment she doesn't care anymore. But have to do it. Everything is ready, clean towels, a seperate cloth to pat the areas dry, etc.
Have to get it done within the hour no matter what because the man ordered ppv wrestling for him and his son to watch and it starts at 3:00p.m.
Until later...
She went to have her staples removed yesterday and was a ginea pig wench for a girl in the office who's learning to remove staples and outter stitches. Have known this girl for quite awhile and wasn't hesitant to have her learn on me. She did really well, felt little discomfort, no more than a slight tug in one or two of the 17 total. Then the doc this one see's often, not her pain manager/surgeon came in to look her over. This ones butt area looks really good, but the incision on her back we have to watch carefully. There's redness and it's not healing as quickly as the other incision. She see's her actual pain manger next week April 8th. Have been able to cut down on the Norco's since yesterday. It was much easier to try and sleep without having those medling pieces of metal fragments in ones body. Was not allowed to take a shower as planned. Ugh. Back to the baby wipes and such.
In better and more wonderful news
During a phone call this morning we learned that...
Our daughter passed AIT and is not getting sent home on a medical discharge but instead is coming home to visit soon before being deployed.
Knew she could do it.
Until next time...
She was suppose to be able to shower today and isn't allowed to anymore. Not until after getting her staples out tomorrow. Last evening she was resting to try to sleep but then she stood up to go to the rest room and when she came back to the bedroom and was about to get positioned back onto the bed, she reached behind her to make sure her nightie was down all the way, she noticed the bandaged had slipped off the tape, her hand was wet, when she brought it forward, two of her fingers were covered in dark blood. She called her son in, her Master was mowing the front lawn, she asked him how bad it was, he called his dad in. The man had her lay down to check it, it wasn't that bad, the upper part of the stitching/stapling (theres stitches beneath the staples) came open a bit. He cleaned it and re bandaged it.
When the the assistant and her pain management called this morning to tell her the doctor okayed a refill of Norco, which yesterday she was told not until Thursday, this one told the assistant about the blood. It was then she was told not to shower and to wait until after the staples are removed.
A week of baby wipes, fem wipes, and sponge bathing has not been fun. The fem wipes do smell pretty though. lol.
Have had to be even more careful now because am not sure how open it is back there. It hasn't bled like that since. So all is well.
Fell asleep fairly early last night. Just didn't sleep well, it was hard to move and her left leg was not doing well. It's still hurting pretty good. Pain level there about an 8. That's the leg on the same side as the other incision in butt cheek. Think it's pain radiating from one area to the other. Might be stiff muscles too from not being able to get into a good sitting or laying position.
Ohhhh this one's owner has a job interview today.. working from home dispatching for the same company he was laid off from. He wouldn't be working for the old company directly though, instead sub contracting through another.
He already headed out for it...
Until next time...
