Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since I graduated from the FRP (FRC). I can't say I've kept up on everything, but I have done more than before program. It's the same in some regards. A decent day comes along where pain is a 6 and I think... I can handle this.. I can go forward and make even more of myself and then those hard 8's come and my self-talk goes down hill.
I did get my authorization for the Left Foot Accelerator and need to make an appointment so that it can be installed on the van and I can be taught how to use it.
My 3 month post program goal was to drive myself to Monday evening Phase 2 classes.
We went to the drive-in movies Tuesday night. Saw Orphan and the Hangover. Okay movies. Was nice to get out.
Have some reading to review
Until next time...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Busy Tuesday
Been spending a lot of time cleaning up my inbox that's been out of control for the last 8 weeks. Spent hours in the Group today. Catching up there also. We're looking for another Leader so that should be done by this evening. 3 in mind.
Am allowed to trade the treadmill off tonight and go to the store with him instead. That will get my walking time in and at least I'll actually be doing something.
The photo I posted is probably the only one people will see of me full length. That's one of those rare occasions. I have more, more people in the photos, but am not sure yet if I'll post.
Maybe I'll post one where I'm behind everyone else. lol
Still waiting on the authorization for the Left Foot Accelerator and the switch from Morphine to Suboxone.
I'm still taking minimal meds and it's hard. I've had to take Neurontin again. It's the only thing that actually eases down the burning nerves. I do only take it when absolutely necessary.
I still have an article to write regarding the program. So much information. Both what was taught and what I actually learned and experienced.
My outline already has at least 2 dozen points to touch on.
It's been a productive day for the most part.
Until next time...
Am allowed to trade the treadmill off tonight and go to the store with him instead. That will get my walking time in and at least I'll actually be doing something.
The photo I posted is probably the only one people will see of me full length. That's one of those rare occasions. I have more, more people in the photos, but am not sure yet if I'll post.
Maybe I'll post one where I'm behind everyone else. lol
Still waiting on the authorization for the Left Foot Accelerator and the switch from Morphine to Suboxone.
I'm still taking minimal meds and it's hard. I've had to take Neurontin again. It's the only thing that actually eases down the burning nerves. I do only take it when absolutely necessary.
I still have an article to write regarding the program. So much information. Both what was taught and what I actually learned and experienced.
My outline already has at least 2 dozen points to touch on.
It's been a productive day for the most part.
Until next time...
Saturday, July 18, 2009
CFRP Graduation July 17, 2009
Not the actual Group Photo, it does include those who graduated on this day. (The 4 girls up front)
Until next time,
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
3 Weekdays Post
Am 3 days post program. Not including the weekend. This sucks. And not in a yummy way either.
Yesterday I went grocery shopping, I came home rested and then made dinner. Tonight I began making steak chicana to take for Fridays graduation. It takes a long time to make this. First is the meat in the crockpot over night and then tomorrow all the rest is added.
Anyway.. I'm doing things like this, but it still doesn't seem like it's enough. Maybe it will never seem like it's enough, but I have to learn to be happy for what it is.
So far... that's not happening.
I already feel myself slipping. I try to keep my self-talk positive. I do make 3 daily goals. But...
Ugh...
I am accomplishing them so far. hahahah... Doubt that will last long. (not good self-talk)
I start on Monday's starting um... next Monday.
I guess my nerves are up there right now and I'm torn between caring too much and not giving a shit.
Not nice really.
I've never been a quitter and everyone keeps saying... you aren't a quitter, you fight and fight.... yeah... I do, I have...
but for fuck sake... how long am I suppose to keep it up.
It's really only "acting".
The better and better I get at that means no one will ever know otherwise, unless I tell them. And probably not even then if I'm good at it.
I'm probably not making much sense right now and that's okay....
Mostly.
I danced my ass off the other night....
And that pain was so worth it.
Until next time...
Yesterday I went grocery shopping, I came home rested and then made dinner. Tonight I began making steak chicana to take for Fridays graduation. It takes a long time to make this. First is the meat in the crockpot over night and then tomorrow all the rest is added.
Anyway.. I'm doing things like this, but it still doesn't seem like it's enough. Maybe it will never seem like it's enough, but I have to learn to be happy for what it is.
So far... that's not happening.
I already feel myself slipping. I try to keep my self-talk positive. I do make 3 daily goals. But...
Ugh...
I am accomplishing them so far. hahahah... Doubt that will last long. (not good self-talk)
I start on Monday's starting um... next Monday.
I guess my nerves are up there right now and I'm torn between caring too much and not giving a shit.
Not nice really.
I've never been a quitter and everyone keeps saying... you aren't a quitter, you fight and fight.... yeah... I do, I have...
but for fuck sake... how long am I suppose to keep it up.
It's really only "acting".
The better and better I get at that means no one will ever know otherwise, unless I tell them. And probably not even then if I'm good at it.
I'm probably not making much sense right now and that's okay....
Mostly.
I danced my ass off the other night....
And that pain was so worth it.
Until next time...
Sunday, July 12, 2009
FRP ended the 10th (the 17th is graduation)
Friday was my last day at the FRC. I was suppose to graduate that day but on Thursday it was postponed until next Friday. I don't go all this week, just Friday. I do have a doc appointment tomorrow and I'll wean back off Morphine (for the umteenth time) and onto Suboxone. In my research I have learned some people are getting 50+ up to 90 percent of relief on some days from pain associated with nerve damage. Am seriously praying hard for the same.
I need to work on routine. Tomorrow will be my first day of it. For sure each morning that I wake up I'll set 3 goals and do my yoga. By weeks end he should have a daily routine scheduled for me and while this will work best for me, no one is suppose to be setting it for me other than me. ( according to non lifestyle oriented guidelines lol )
It's been a hard 6 weeks. The program exceeded my expectations in many ways. I exceeded my own expectations. I would encourage anyone with chronic pain, incurable diseases and disabilities to look into it or one similar. I increased my range of motion in all directions, my walking and standing times. Individual feet standing time. Everything.
Starting next week, I will continue to go on Monday's for.... hm, mostly indefinitely. Instead of a full day, it will only be from 4 p.m to 5:30 p.m.
I'm still waiting on an authorization for a "Left Foot Accelerator". Am not sure if I mentioned that or not yet. But it would give me back the ability to drive at least nearby.
I really want a job outside the home.
I can finally wear sandals for about a total time of 2 hours a day and sneakers with socks for an hour. I don't think work will let me go barefoot as I have been. Even at program I was barefoot 'cept during desensitization therapy and using the rest room.
Don't have too much more to say right now...
Until next time
I need to work on routine. Tomorrow will be my first day of it. For sure each morning that I wake up I'll set 3 goals and do my yoga. By weeks end he should have a daily routine scheduled for me and while this will work best for me, no one is suppose to be setting it for me other than me. ( according to non lifestyle oriented guidelines lol )
It's been a hard 6 weeks. The program exceeded my expectations in many ways. I exceeded my own expectations. I would encourage anyone with chronic pain, incurable diseases and disabilities to look into it or one similar. I increased my range of motion in all directions, my walking and standing times. Individual feet standing time. Everything.
Starting next week, I will continue to go on Monday's for.... hm, mostly indefinitely. Instead of a full day, it will only be from 4 p.m to 5:30 p.m.
I'm still waiting on an authorization for a "Left Foot Accelerator". Am not sure if I mentioned that or not yet. But it would give me back the ability to drive at least nearby.
I really want a job outside the home.
I can finally wear sandals for about a total time of 2 hours a day and sneakers with socks for an hour. I don't think work will let me go barefoot as I have been. Even at program I was barefoot 'cept during desensitization therapy and using the rest room.
Don't have too much more to say right now...
Until next time
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Independence Day Weekend
We had such a great day yesterday. I prepped, cut, and seasoned all the meat for the grill. Buttered, seasoned the corn on the cob, wrapped it all in tin foil, etc etc. The man BBQ'd (I flipped some too lol)
A few kids that our own kids grew up with came over. Have known them since they were young teens and they're all in their early to mid 20's now. They're like family.
It was a great time. The babies played in the little pool. I was going to, but didn't.
Later we did fireworks at the edge of our drive-way and in the street. The 22 years prior we lived in a County that outlawed them. Here they aren't.
Was just a really good day. A full day. I paced myself as best I could. And it all turned out well.
Only a week or so left of my program. Either graduate on Friday or the following week.
3 of us graduated last Friday. I'm next.
Hope you all had a happy and safe 4th.
Until next time...
A few kids that our own kids grew up with came over. Have known them since they were young teens and they're all in their early to mid 20's now. They're like family.
It was a great time. The babies played in the little pool. I was going to, but didn't.
Later we did fireworks at the edge of our drive-way and in the street. The 22 years prior we lived in a County that outlawed them. Here they aren't.
Was just a really good day. A full day. I paced myself as best I could. And it all turned out well.
Only a week or so left of my program. Either graduate on Friday or the following week.
3 of us graduated last Friday. I'm next.
Hope you all had a happy and safe 4th.
Until next time...
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