Monday, December 28, 2009

Gorean Forum Rambings, Xmas Vaca.

The last 2 weeks I've found a little more time in the Gorean Forum I once spent much more time at. For one some of the threads titles didn't interest me enough to even read, much of it was repeats of previous threads.

One thread in particular I originally posted questions to a girl and tries to offer insight in a sincere manner. Later, I couldn't help but laugh with others. After 50+ pages it's like the song that never ends.

Another thread I offered knowledge about ice and walking boots. Got tore up on that one and ended up defending self back. Won't get into too many details other than one wouldn't have offered inaccurate information in the first place. If I didn't know I wouldn't have said so, ironically a health/injury post suddenly turn into..."I know you don't like that I know the slavery...." by the person who came at me with passive-aggressive remarks. Where that came from have no idea since it had absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand.

Aside from that the dozen + cmails I received suggested I not speak to that person at all.
For the sake of the moment... I did just that.

So I wished her a Merry Christmas and left it at that. ~smiles

Being that it was Christmas time our group slowed down enough to read up and participate elsewhere. I've also tried to catch up on a few blogs.

I have a hard time squeezing enough time in the day to get to each on any kind of regular basis and for this I apologize. Sometimes bi-weekly at best.

I need to come up with more marketing, advertising and promotion techniques for the newer group that was handed to me. Still a small group. It was created some time ago, but when there's no one to oversee them, members often go to groups or forums that continue to stay active. So I understand it's demise prior to me taking it over. It could take an entire year at this point. Because it involves children I have to be more subtle and protect anonymity. Of course this is done in the other groups if necessary, but I have other peoples kids in my hands. I will take extra precautions. Additionally write so that they understand meaning. I need to set aside words above 10 year olds understanding.

There aren't many groups of the same out there. Even in doing a google/etc search my group comes up first...

I published another girl a couple of weeks ago and gave her her own web page on my site. I'll assist her in exposing her writings and link to other sites and so forth. I was happy to hear that she included it on a college application. These are RSD related essays and articles.

We had a really good Christmas. Presents and food. Everyone was happy.

Colored my hair back to bottle natural and streaked it with fuchsia. Can't see the fuchsia unless in the sun or light then wowies. I trimmed it a few days prior. 2 inches or about.

I see my PMD later this afternoon and am not sure if I'm staying for the Monday evening Phase 2 as of yet.

Happy New Year!

Until next time...

Saturday, December 12, 2009

ADHD, etc

Just when I thought life couldn't get harder.. it is. As some of you may know, I've been home schooling our son for the last 4 weeks. Yesterday school officials informed us that he would not be allowed back in school without a doctors release and being medicated.

He's been deemed severely ADHC by the Connor scales which 3 teachers and the principal filled out. I've seen changed in our son this last year, but I honestly believe that too many people are being given diagnosis' just to add meaning to problems. In our sons earlier school grades he was quite smart, his grades and SATS above average.

My son just can't sit still, he's bored easily, unlike some kids he takes extra initiative to answer questions (a few of his teachers praised him and us for this) the others found it disrespectful. When an adult is negative to him or tries to scold him, he will lash back out. He's very dominant. He won't stand down especially when he is right.

"course I've looked up all the symptoms and he has them all. It's just that I believe kids are affected by lifes circumstances. Heck, adults are affected by same and lash out.

Kurt was 3 when I was injured. He's gone through much and lost much. I believe that people possess inner strength to over come most all things. I've been teaching him deep breathing, things that I've learned for my own illnesses to learn how to be calm during the worse of it.

Needless to say since we've received that phone call, I've been... I dunno..

Only know our son is everything to me and I don't see how someone can force us to medicate him. I would do anything including medication to help him, but I'm not sure that's the right way to go.

We lost our health insurance nearly a year ago and the man has been refusing medi cal and similar since. We have never applied for things like this. But now, he say's for his sons sake, we have no choice. He's say's he's been helpless to help me all these years and I assure him it's okay because there's nothing he can do. Keeping me is helping me. He does have a chance to help our son and so last evening we opted to find out how to apply for health assistance. See if it was the man and I, we would not ask for assistance, we raised our daughters up and now need to do what we need to for our son or this will get even more out of control.

I'm just going to keep smiling, and smiling, and when I'm sad.. look at him, our son, grand son daughter's and smile again...

Because when they see me smile, they don't see my pain, and they smile...

I go back into surgery in the next 6 months.. it's all this crap that remains in our sons mind and heart, I know it.

The man and son exchange words often and it's because there's 2 strong dominants under the same roof, strong alpha males and everyone knows put to alpha's together, one of them will usually back down or defer.. these two don't.

Our son knows more about Gorean ideals and gorean living more than most 30 years old. It's been his up bringing and when it comes to taking charge, he's right on top of it.

Surprisingly it's the male teachers that have little to no problem with him except one from time to time and it's the female's that do. We've tried to tell him that once labeled the bad kid, often he will not be given another chance even when he's doing good. We've tested this and we were right.

There were days when he did well in class and still one of those females would find something, anything to put him down for..

I realize it wasn't quite nice to tell his teacher to "Be silent, woman" or "stop yelling at me, woman", but I also realize there was lots more he could have said. I really didn't think it was all that bad. At least he didn't say.. Be silent, slut! lol

Other females like counselor's, passerby's in the stores, or else where, adore him. He holds doors open for elderly, is compassionate to those with my own illness and even others. He cares.

Kurt joined 2 support groups with me at MDJ and was eager to do so. The ADHD group has 467 members, but the ADHD-Teens only 42 and no leader.. I bypassed the application form and notified the owner of the entire site to ask if he would give me a chance in leading this kids.

Being that I'm already a Group Leader there in the RSD Forum and second in charge of 5 leaders, as well as an Advocate, my Master gave me his permission, but warned me to be careful of overload. I told him if it became too overwhelming, I would seek out another leader for the kids and either remain as a back up or step down entirely.

I've been struggling with this in my first group, but the thing is is everyday is overwhelming for me. I have an idea of how to help these kids.. I'm good at things like that. Even in my RSD group, I run games and other things for distraction. Not every thread is technical.

I'm a leader, I'm just not dominant. I defer to the man above me. Even if appointed leader to the ADHD-Teens (as the first and only leader) I would still defer to a man. The owner himself.

So far both are pleased with my work there. I'm allowed to take initiative (that is important to the owner) and I do. I don't wait for someone to give me permission, but I do accept consequences.

Just as a slave, I do not need to be told every moment of the day what is expected of me. I know what is expected of me.

Well phew.. I know I babbled on a lot tonight...

My life has been full of challenges, some extreme, I'll get through this one too...

For my sons sake..

Until next time..