Sunday, August 02, 2009

Left Foot Accelerator Pedal

I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m to have the Left Foot Accelerator Pedal installed. After installation, I'll learn how to use it, drive. Am really very nervous.

I still won't be able to drive on the freeway, but we have lots of mini malls around here, so everything I would want or need to get to is within a few blocks. Once I go back to work, or start driving to Monday's FRP, I'll learn the back streets to get there. Actually it's the same way he takes me now.

Every time I think of driving I have a panic attack. And I'm not taking anxiety meds anymore, so it's not a quick relief, I have to work hard getting myself out of those moments of fear. I did learn how to help myself naturally at the FRC.

During bio feedback, when they forced me to stress.. (actually forced me by showing me words of colors, but I had to say the color, not the word. For example.. The word blue would flash across the screen, but it was really yellow in actual color) Ugh...

Anyway.. I don't recover easily. So when I panic, I'm not allowed to close my eyes...

Instead, I'm suppose to find a visual focal point and bring myself out of the panic... It really does help.

So if I looked at a picture, I start talking out loud about the picture I'm looking at.. describing it.

I'm proud of myself that I can help myself without all the meds I was on. I am still taking 2, just not the 7 I was on 2+ months ago.

Honestly if someone dropped me off across town (where I would be driving myself home)

I would not be able to get home. I have to re learn my own home town. I'm not at all familiar with the area of town where we bought our home. Even as a passenger, I don't recall it.

So I've got lots to learn.

Until next time

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