(Cross posted from MDJ June 21, 2009)
As you know I've been quite busy with the Functional Restoration program which I've been attending since May 26th. I will graduate around the 15 of July.
When my doctors told me to let everything go that had to do with RSD/CRPS, I didn't understand. I even struggled with it. I didn't understand why they would tell someone who's put years into advocating, promoting, advertising, supporting RSD related circumstances and their heart to just.... back off.
I'm finally understanding why.
When we speak of pain, share our stories, discuss WC, all the pain it's caused us physically and mentally, the turmoil, the stress, how there is no cure for us, we are reliving the injury and pain that brought us to a suffering point of existence over and over again.
After deep deep thought, I can now understand what they mean and for our own sakes.
While I always believed that opening up (when I was finally able to do it) was a road to acceptance, I never believed in any way that by doing so could be detrimental to me.
Because I've started too much that I can't go back on, I won't be leaving what I did behind. (what I did was bring many of us together, offer knowledge and insight, and more, just like most of us do) We're on this road to make a change, provide awareness and really try to do something about it.
Instead I have to find balance to do as my doctors instructed me AND finish what I started.
Now I ask each of you.. (Please think about this carefully)
Does it help you to speak of your prior lives, your existing pain, all the hell this has cast down upon you...
Or when you really think about it...
Does it tense you to do so? If it tenses you, it's adding to physical pain, if it's causing you to think back, it's adding to your emotional pain. This will always keep us in a painful cycle.
Just because I've finally come to believe this to be true, at least mostly true, doesn't at all mean any of you do. Instead, I would just like to know your feelings about it.
There is no right or wrong answer.
Thank you in advance for sharing...
( My name has been omitted because it just doesn't matter)
2 comments:
Even my share of physical pain is not something that I dare be consumed by, so I also write about my childhood or, more recently, my adventures at a Buddhist temple or a nudist camp. It's essential to get away from it if for no other reason than that, if I did not, everyone I know would get away from me. To focus only on that which hurts and that we can't change--how sad that would be.
Greetings Snow
There is such a fine line between expression and others bringing us down because of it.
Always believe in you, as I'm learning to believe in me, regardless the outcome and what others think.
Keep doing what your doing.
You are truly an inspiration.
xo
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