Friday, April 03, 2009

Still No Shower For You Girl

She went to have her staples removed yesterday and was a ginea pig wench for a girl in the office who's learning to remove staples and outter stitches. Have known this girl for quite awhile and wasn't hesitant to have her learn on me. She did really well, felt little discomfort, no more than a slight tug in one or two of the 17 total. Then the doc this one see's often, not her pain manager/surgeon came in to look her over. This ones butt area looks really good, but the incision on her back we have to watch carefully. There's redness and it's not healing as quickly as the other incision. She see's her actual pain manger next week April 8th. Have been able to cut down on the Norco's since yesterday. It was much easier to try and sleep without having those medling pieces of metal fragments in ones body. Was not allowed to take a shower as planned. Ugh. Back to the baby wipes and such.

In better and more wonderful news

During a phone call this morning we learned that...

Our daughter passed AIT and is not getting sent home on a medical discharge but instead is coming home to visit soon before being deployed.

Knew she could do it.

Until next time...


Snowbrush said...

Do you feel better now that your staples are out?

Maybe you read, I fell down hard in the garage last night, but, as luck would have it, I hit on my left side, and am probably only a little worse for wear.

You asked about surgical site photos. I don't have any. It's really not much to look, just a humongous yellow bruise. Instead of long scars, I just have five holes in my shoulder from the various arrow-like thingys they stuck me with.

You said once that you hoped I didn't mind you referring to yourself as she. I don't mind, I just find it curious. I noted that someone who posted to your blog did the same thing, so I'm assuming it's got to do with being a slave, and my writing to you has nothing to do with that.

His kajirah said...

Hi Snow, she does feel a bit better now that the staples are out.

Oh my goodness to falling down. Hope you are okay, good thing it was on that opposite side. Wish it wouldn't have happened but am very glad it wasn't the side that was just fixed.

Third person does have to do with slavery and it's probably the reason the other girl on here is using it as this one once did. It's different now for this one.

Actually, If you prefer 1st person when we speak, it's fine. Just let me know. And you're right our writings to each other has not had anything to do with it.

Well wishes

His kajirah said...

Hi Snow

Am going to revert to using first person for you.

Often times a man/Master will have a girl speak in third person to show her that she's property after having relinquished all control to him. This would probably be the reason or a reason why phoenix is doing so. Since I've followed the same philosophy and way of living for years, this would be the first reason to come to mind regarding her though I am not certain.

While it was for me many years ago and up until about a year ago, this is not why I use it now.

I always use first person when dealing and associating with pain organizations, supporting and helping others who come to me regarding the illness they have which is the same that I have.

Just wanted to try and be more specific.

My real name is Twinkle, would be why you might see someone address me as Twink, my offline nick name.

My online nick name which is also an offline nickname is caliente, often called cali. I really like cali as a nick name for the reasons given and because I'm from California. ~grins. So I use either, depending on who I'm speaking to.

Best wishes to you

phoenix said...

Greetings twink,

phoenix had a thought, why don't you get Master Erik to hose you down, taking care not to wet your back of course, lol.

About third person speech, it is one of Master Malkinius's rules for slave training, phoenix must use it when communicating with fellow Goreans, that is the reason she uses it here.

she wishes you well,


His kajirah said...

Hello phoenix

This ones Master will be giving her a shower in just a bit. She will get a hose down, but with a shower nozzle instead of garden hose. lol

In regards to third person speech she had an idea this was the reason you were using it.

Well wishes

phoenix said...

Hi twink,

Awwwww phoenix was going to ask you to have someone video you being hosed down with a garden hose, lol. Still you must be so happy, you'll feel better afterwards.

she wishes you well,


Snowbrush said...

"...she's property after having relinquished all control to him."

But, since this relinquishment is not legally binding on either party, it is instantly revocable. The master could tell the slave to leave, or the slave could say to the master that I'm out of here. My understanding of slavery is a traditional one in that it (slavery) is seldom if every voluntary, and that the slave, at least, is stuck until death no matter how horrendously he or she is treated by the master. This means, as I see it, that your relationship is one of voluntary subservience rather than true slavery. You are not forced to give yourself to your master.

His kajirah said...

Yes Snow, it's consensual slavery. Complicated in some ways. For me, mine is 'til death do I part from him.

The path we follow, an alternative lifestyle, doesn't really acknowledge the institution of marriage, but instead considers marriage free companionship. I couldn't be anything less than a slave to my Master. While some have been beaten as punishment, humilated etc, I never have been. My Master has never beaten me, but encourages me to be all that I can be. I suppose in many ways we're like a 50s style household, or Christian in that wife is to be submissive to her husband.

For others, each dynamic is similar, but also different.

Legalities, Laws etc prevent the definition of slavery and being held against ones will.

You are also right in that "slavery is a traditional one in that it (slavery) is seldom if every voluntary".

Alternitive lifestyle slavery is and has to consensual. Which makes it seem as though then it isn't slavery. It's really that a woman feels the need, desire and passion to give all of herself to another.

But yes it can be dissolved. He can release her and she can say see ya, once it's no longer consensual it becomes illegal.

My Master/husband will never let me go, nor will I ever walk out on him. It's been a good 23 years. I went straight from my parents to him when I was 17. All I know is him. And I'm happy and cared for.


phoenix said...

Morning twink,

Yes the relationship can be dissolved or the slave can walk away but oftentimes it's extremely difficult for her to do so. The bond between Master and slave is a very, very tight one and often the slave cannot simply walk away.

Master Malkinius rarely uses physical punishment, he prefers to use positive reinforcement such as praise for things done right.

she wishes you both well,


His kajirah said...

The look of disappointment is the absolute worse punishment this one could ever feel. She would rather be whipped, it would hurt less.

Positive reinforcement is very effective, it makes the slave strive to continue to be pleasing. All her thoughts therefore are focused only on that one thing. Being found pleasing in the Master's eyes.

The "glare" makes twinkle gulp.

Though her punishments have only ever been being put on restriction. Once years ago she was restricted from her laptop. Now mind you back then she had to have it. That hurt! lol. Seriously though, she went nuts without it. Now a days that wouldn't be as effective. She could take it or leave it. Some men would have beat their girl for what this one did to get her computer taken away. Since she doesn't get hit, he still got her where it hurt.

phoenix said...

Oh gosh yes, disappointing your Master is the worst feeling in the world, there's no way to fully explain it's impact...and THE GLARE! phoenix thinks all Masters learn that look, it's one of the most effective ways to stop us in our tracks.

It's amazing how many Masters think physical punishment is the best way to correct a slave; to phoenix it just teaches her to fear him. *shrugs*

*laughs* Sorry for talking shop so much Snow.

she wishes you both well,


Snowbrush said...

"It's really that a woman feels the need, desire and passion to give all of herself to another."

The question then becomes whether this is not possible on the basis of equality. There is also the question of, if the woman gives everything, how much does the man give?

I could get off on dominating someone sexually, but when it comes to a life partner, I want to think that my partner is as strong as I am (though not necessarily in all the same ways), because feeling that my partner is strong makes me safer.

BTW, Peggy and I came here to Oregon partly to pursue an alternative sexual lifestyle called polyfidelity. We were married to another woman two years after moving here, after which we all moved to Minneapolis for two years. If we hadn't wanted the lifestyle so much, it would have been clear to us from the start that our particular threesome just wasn't viable. After first Peggy and then I came back to Oregon, Peggy was deeply involved with another man for years (he was and is my best friend), and we often talked of living together, but value differences made it impossible (we're frugal, he's not; we're tidy, he's messy). Now, she and I are pretty much content to remain monogamous. I had many affairs for many years (both before and after polyfidelity), but I no longer want to put the energy into that kind of thing, and my testosterone has thankfully declined enough that I am no longer obsessed with women.

"Yes the relationship can be dissolved or the slave can walk away but oftentimes it's extremely difficult for her to do so."

I'm wondering though. If you don't believe in marriage, do you share property rights? If you have no rights, you would have less to bind you once the bond has been broken.

Snowbrush said...

"The look of disappointment is the absolute worse..."

Are you (you can answer too, Phoenix) allowed to express disappointment in him? Surely, giving your "all" to your master would include sharing your anger with him.

Snowbrush said...

"THE GLARE! phoenix thinks all Masters learn that look..."

I suppose master, the smart ones anyway, are simply like everyone else in that they keep on doing whatever works. This would make you the teacher, eh?

phoenix said...

No this would make phoenix the guinnea pig, lol. It's strange though, they all have that LOOK that just stops phoenix in her tracks...literally.

Slaves tend to come to their Master with very little or even nothing of their own. If the relationship ends they leave with what they brought and anything their Master might have bought them which he allows them to take.

Speaking for herself, phoenix has always been allowed to express disappointment and/or anger, what she has NOT been allowed to do is scream at him. Which is good because it's not terribly productive. Better to sit down and talk. Masters are human, they make mistakes.

Oh phoenix has been meaning to ask, how are you feeling? she knows you fell recently, are you still hurting?

she wishes you well,


His kajirah said...

"I'm wondering though. If you don't believe in marriage, do you share property rights? If you have no rights, you would have less to bind you once the bond has been broken."

Hi Snow

We do believe in marriage, my Master/husband and I. The path we follow however doesn't believe in the institution of marriage. They don't believe a Master should be married to his slave. Marriage would be considered Free Companionship which would actually mean that since I'm married I should not be my Master's slave but instead the free companion, which would make me a free woman. Still not quite equal to the man, but free nonetheless.

There's 2 essays that I wrote a few years back that might help give you some insight into what I'm trying explain to you. I'm not so good at it anymore since meds have slowed me down and scrambled my mind almost permanently.

The links are are on my blog. Or actually they are at

I use to have an informative website regarding this life, but lost it during a move and isp change. So I pointed the domain to the essays. I'm not sure if I'll ever get that site back up, since all my better moments are devoted to another website and keeping it updated.

I hope the 2 essays help explain better.

And then maybe we can discuss from there if you would like to.

Please forgive me, I'm quite medicated at the moment, but really want to continue discussing.