I went to the doctor yesterday for my post op appointment. I was also re programmed by Medtronic, my new lead is working down farther in my foot as it was meant to do, but still not as far down as my toes which was the target. I seen Medtronic first and then my Pain Manager. I'm healing well and few more weeks and I should be completely healed from the surgery. It can take up to 6 months for my lead to take to the spine, it has to grab onto it and stick into place. This is why it's so important not to do anything too physical, or move abruptly.
My pain Manager is putting in a referral for me to begin the Compass Functional Restorational program. http://www.sacpainclinic.com/compass.php
My doctor heads and leads this program and it's located next door to my pain clinic http://www.sacpainclinic.com/ (The man in the photo is my pain manager himself)
The program is 7 hours a day, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. It scared me. Seriously.
So scared I came home, rested, and then ate 5 peanut butter cookies. Diet goes bye bye.
My vocational rehabilitation eventually became home schooling. I was going to the actual school quite a bit away from home. I couldn't handle 4 days a week for 4 hours. Then I went down to 2 days a week for 6 hours or as long as I could tolerate. A few times I was able to put in an 8 hour day, when pain was lower and I became consumed in my studies. I only graduated from the pre requisite course. I have a Microsoft Office Certificate, but never graduated from the full curriculum which was Corporate Publishing.
In order go through the Compass program I have to pass a phycological evaluation, just like when I was first considered as a candidate for my Spinal Cord Stimulator. You have to be referred, considered and pass.
Of course I want to do this program, I told my Pain Manager I did. It's not being forced upon me. But God I'm scared to fail. I would be happy to not be on the internet all day, I am more than eager to learn new techniques to control pain, I'm looking forward to understanding flare-ups more than I do now and how to get through them.
I can't wait to pass what I learn onto my website and my pain groups, or anyone in chronic pain. This isn't only for people with RSD/CRPS. It's for people who live with Chronic Pain in general.
I don't want to let my Doctor down and they know I have volunteered to do clinical trials and more. To learn from me. I want my body to be studied and used while I'm alive rather than when I'm dead.
I want to go back to work I really do, but it will be a miracle in itself if I manage to get through so many hours, a full week, for 6 weeks. We have to set 3 goals for ourselves. I've been thinking about that since last night. Most people's goal is to return to work or volunteer. If I was able to volunteer outside the home, I would choose work. If I could handle being out and about, I would rather bring in some income for my family.
Unless it was to volunteer at the program, similar program or help others with RSD. Then that would be my pay, I would feel richer than any doing that.
Maybe my calling lies in this somewhere...
I know in my heart this illness was placed upon me for a reason...
A reason I just don't understand completely yet...
"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar". Hellen Keller
And no more peanut butter cookies
Until next time...
I find myself in a quandary
2 days ago