Wednesday, February 11, 2009

3rd and Last Block Completed

Yesterday morning I finished my last block in this series. I went in with some back discomfort, spasm, I suppose it was. And came out worse. I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disk Disease a couple of years ago, so maybe something it my back is rubbing against another part, or the disk is slipping, I don't know. I can barely walk. I can't bring myself to my feet without either help, or as I've done a couple of times now, forcing myself in utter agony. I need the walls and furniture to assist me. My doc blocked my right foot and my right hip this time. I doubt the pain I'm in now has anything to do with the injections themselves. At most was irritated further by them.

I'm waiting on the surgery centers day after follow up call to let them know what's going on with me. Last night I thought I was going to need to go to the ER because I was getting feverish on top the pain. Fever or extra redness at the injection sites are suppose to be reported immediately.

And while it may seem like I get whiny from time to time, I don't rush off to the ER, or the docs just because of extra discomfort. I push myself to tolerate it and get past the moment, minutes, hours, or days sometimes. My life is pain, other than short fixes at best, it's all it's ever going to be. I've accepted that. They made me.

It's not like the hospital can really do anything for me, anyhow. Give me a shot of pain med, morphine or whatnot. I have enough meds at home including morphine, so going out to get more just isn't worth it for me. The only difference is that 10mgs of morphine injected is much stronger and works much faster than my daily intake at home. 30mgs in the A.M and 15mgs in the P.M. It's actually called MS Contin, each 15mgs is a 12 hour time release. The generic term is morphine.

I'm about to have a few Lidocaine (Lidoderme 5%) patches put on my back and legs. Those aren't going to help me stand or walk though. Sheesh. Get relief in one place, or two, and get screwed harder despite being stabbed with big needles approximately 15 times in the last 3 weeks.

This disease hasn't stolen my spirit yet, oh it's tried numerous times and I've fallen victim to the depression that comes along with it, it's taken nearly all the rest of me, but one things is for will never have my soul.

Until next time...

Be good...
... Or be good at it!

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